Queen Jessie's words of wisdom

[Jessie Kowalski]

It actually angers me that Dominic hasn't campaigned for my vote whatsoever. And it angers me even more that people are going to vote Shane out when he actually wants to stay. It's sick. I hope HOH is endurance.

[Jessie Kowalski]

Okay, time for a real update.
This week's been stupid. Rachel had it in her head to backdoor Shane all along. I'm sure of it. I don't believe her for a SECOND that it just came to her. That's complete CRAP. On top of that, people are the worst. Seriously. Everyone is doing what RACHEL wants. Have a mind of your own and do whatever the hell you want. I was honest with everyone about my vote, including Dominic [he messaged me about the vote finally]. He said he won't hold it against me and I'll believe him since I've got nothing to lose. Elissa seems to want to see things happen, but she's too scared.
I think Porsche, Andrew, Elissa and Rachel are in a tight alliance. They seem to always do what the other wants and share information. I can't handle it anymore. I just can't. I believe that Elissa does want things to change, but she is too scared to do anything. She wants ME or someone else to do it. If I could trust Jack, I'd just team up with HIM. But I don't trust him. I don't trust anyone. Only Shane and he has one foot out the door. This is depressing!

So, I've got to make things work. I really need HOH. I say this every week, but I mean it this time. I want to make a move. Ugh, but Ian needs to go too. We can't forget about him. He will slide through and he is also good at competitions, so it's scary.

[Jessie Kowalski]

Either James or Jun lied to Shane. I personally think it was James.

[Jessie Kowalski]

I've been missing in action for about a week. Ever since Shane's been the target, I've been a little annoyed with my fellow houseguests. I've had a hard time trusting them. Now this crazy twist fell into our laps and I want to use it to get to rid of Ian or even... RACHEL Obviously I love Rachel, but it's clear to me that she has other priorities AND that a lot of people are closer to her than they are to me. I don't see this happening though unless we can get a group of 6 people to vote her out and I personally don't see it happening. The only people I think I can trust to keep their big mouths shut are Dominic, Elissa, James and myself. Then we'd need Jun and Jack; two people I don't particularly trust to share any type of information with. But then there is Ian. Ian is someone I can easily work on getting evicted In fact, I think a lot of people would be down for that and I wouldn't fear it spilling since he isn't someone I care to hide the fact that I'm after. Andrew, Dom, Elissa, James, myself and probably even Jack would be willing to vote his ass out. That's one less crazy competitor to fight against and a bigger target onto Porsche and Rachel. Let's get this shit started!

[Jessie Kowalski]

I've been extremely busy lately and haven't really had the chance to talk to a lot of people. My goal for this week is to see Ian go, with Jun leaving as "not so bad." Oh, and I'd love to survive

Ian messaged me saying:

Ian (4:17:15 PM): Are we going to talk eventually?


lol... um. i have nothing to say to him. he's a rat. I wouldn't trust him with the fakest of information, let alone real. I want him to go SO badly because the worst thing would be to have him on the jury. I rather we evict him and not have to deal with someone I never really speak to.

Besides for that, Andrew and I spoke about the vote and possibly voting Ian. I hope this happens tbh. I'm nervous about this vote. I feel like someone I like could end up going.. or worse, ME.

Talking to a few people now and gonna see where their heads are at.

[Jessie Kowalski]

jessie.kowalski (2:04:12 PM): well he was saying that he never intended on me going
jessie.kowalski (2:04:23 PM): but then also mentioned being concerned about my relationship with andrew
jessie.kowalski (2:04:44 PM): which btwwwwwwwwww, as much as i like andrew, idk why ian thinks theres more there than there actually is tbh
Rachel (2:04:59 PM): Ian isn't the only person who thinks that
Rachel (2:05:08 PM): Y'all are viewed as a f2
jessie.kowalski (2:05:12 PM): wat
jessie.kowalski (2:05:15 PM): why
Rachel (2:05:25 PM): Idk but ppl seem to think that
Rachel (2:05:33 PM): I kind on scoff at it like
Rachel (2:05:37 PM): Where is this coming from
Rachel (2:05:56 PM): I know y'all are good with each other but ppl seem to view y'all as unbreakable
jessie.kowalski (2:06:42 PM): its so weird because i cant be a f2 with someone who i feel like i cant really trust. certain things andrew and i talk about, but at the same time, i feel like i cant really be myself with him
jessie.kowalski (2:06:48 PM): thats funny lol
jessie.kowalski (2:06:51 PM): i was closer to shane
jessie.kowalski (2:06:58 PM): so much closer to shane
jessie.kowalski (2:07:24 PM): i thought people knew that





wattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

[Jessie Kowalski]

jessie.kowalski (2:14:50 PM): i remembr u told me that andrew showed porsche something i said about her being a threat or something
jessie.kowalski (2:14:54 PM): that will never
jessie.kowalski (2:14:57 PM): leave my mind
jessie.kowalski (2:15:02 PM): its engraved
Rachel (2:18:02 PM): Well that's the other thing
Rachel (2:18:09 PM): Don't tell him I told you this
Rachel (2:18:19 PM): But he said to Porsche that you're in his pocket
Rachel (2:18:38 PM): I'm just smh
jessie.kowalski (2:19:23 PM): such a silly little guy


LOL.

Let's be real here. Both Andrew and Rachel believe they have me in their back pockets. It's so obvious. The truth is, I hold no power because I made some mistakes early in the game and people have bonded with each other over me. Shit happens and you adapt I guess. I know that Andrew has a lot of power. He holds the DPOV so he's been fearless all game. If I had that shit around my neck, I'd milk it for all it's worth as well. I don't blame him. Also, I don't mind him thinking he has me in his back pocket. I love the kid regardless. He's fun to talk to and I do rely on him for some information. Rachel gives me more though.

Aside from that, Elissa and I are working together, but I do feel like she could have other priorities. I think that once jury stage begins [if I'm still here], I'll start playing a little more aggressively. It's just I hate playing in games and not making jury. IDK why, but I don't like being a pre-juror. I hope I survive a few more rounds so that I can play the way I want to.
I also hate this DPOV crap. I can't even talk to Andrew openly for fear that he will get mad and use it against me. So annoying. I kind of hope James wins hoh and nominates him so that he can flush it. idk if he will though. meh.
I want to actually PLAY, but so many things are stopping me. its annoying.

[Jessie Kowalski]

So glad Ian left. This means many things. Let's go down the list.

1. Jury phase has begun! This means SO much to me because I feel like I can play this game now. I say this in almost every game I play in, but I truly believe there is no difference between getting 9th place and 3rd, as long as you try and play the game. Of course, I do feel like jury is an important aspect of it, which is why I don't like to play so hard in the early part. Now that I've made it to jury, I'll try and kick my social game with Jun and Dom into high gear, while work on strengthening my bonds with everyone else.

2. Ian was a huge distraction. Everyone kept focusing on him and was a scapegoat. For people like Porsche and Rachel, that's amazing. They're competition threats. For people like me, he had to go because Rachel and Porsche need to be pushed into the front lines as massive endgame threats. As long as Ian is around, people will keep trying to get rid of him whereas bigger threats are right in front of them. Now there aren't any excuses.

3. I'm going to get my shit together and form something I can trust. I have something with Elissa and now I also want something with Dom and James. I trust those two to keep it under wraps. I'm going to work on a PM to Dominic right now and hope for the best.


It's time to play this thing!

[Jessie Kowalski]

Having an alliance with Dominic is the most infuriating thing ever! I know the guy, he is a good player [he doesn't know I'm me], but he's playing like shit this time. WTF? I wanted to work with him and play the game WITH him. Instead, he's being an idiot and never signing on to AIM. Ridiculous.

Anyway, Rachel finally asked me for a F2. That's awesome. Another F2 for me. The thing is though, I actually believe her whereas I think Elissa is more with Andrew. I still trust Elissa because I think she's smart enough to keep info I share with her to herself. Even if I say something negative about Andrew to her, there's no reason to tell him because it's to HER advantage that I'm thinking it since I'm in a F3 with them. Anyway. I fLOVE Andrew. seriously. This guy is so much fun to talk to, BUT he's a threat. I see it, I recognize it and I'd love to do something about it, but he has that damn DPOV. Next best thing is to get rid of Porsche. Someone I'm a little uneasy with for the endgame.

Ideally, this is the boot order:

Jun
Porsche
Jack
Andrew
Rachel
Elissa
James

Will this happen? Probably not. This is only ideal because I think I might have a shot at beating James PLUS he's an ally, but other than that, I don't know if I am willing to backstab so many people o.O oops.

We'll see. Must survive the week first.

[Jessie Kowalski]

Not sure if this is game-related or not, but Andrew's been very flirty with me lately. I'm weary of him. I like him and I like talking to him about stuff and just our random chit-chats, but I don't trust him in the game.
On top of that, Rachel randomly chose us to get access to her HOH room, which I don't understand. I know that she and I are close, but what's up with this Andrew situation? I ended up telling Elissa because I suspect that her and Andrew are close and I'm unsure whether or not he told her. Better she hear it from me. I just hope I didn't screw things up. It's really not a big deal though. If Rachel asks me about it, I'll just say that Elissa was talking to me about Andrew and I wanted to tell her about the HOH thing because I suspected that she already knew. I also played it off in a way that Rachel probably chose us to hide her true loyalties. But tbh, I actually have no idea why she did that. I honestly don't even think an HOH bedroom is a big deal. It's stupid and the best way to hide your alliance is by inviting the entire house to the room.

Elissa wants to see Jun go this week. So do I.
Then she wants Andrew to use his DPOV on Rachel next week. Thing is, Andrew told me that apparently, his real last week to use it is this week, not next. Like I said earlier, IDK if I trust him fully so I'm not banking on that fact. Would you be able to confirm it for us Julie?!

These people are such disasters. Porsche hardly ever signs on to AIM anymore. Jack hardly ever answers. Elissa and I touch base every few days. Nothing major imo. James sometimes says hi. Andrew is the only person I consistently speak to on a daily and ongoing basis. It just sucks that I don't trust him. If I did, we'd fly into the F2. I have no doubt.

[Jessie Kowalski]

I'm pretty sure Elissa is going up unless Rachel and Andrew are lying to me. I'm starting to get a little worried here. All of my allies are getting screwed over by Rachel and it's annoying as hell. Obviously, I'm playing a part where she believes she is my closest ally. I'm also playing this part with Andrew and Elissa. I fear it could catch up with me. TBQH, I wouldn't even be surprised if my lies have all caught up with me and I'll be the one nominated tonight.

James posted his ceremony and since he and I were talking as I was watching it, I immediately said "i know you!" I'm such an idiot lol, but I couldn't help myself. I don't even feel bad about it since everyone know who everyone is at this point anyway. So my alias is out, oh well. IDRC.
James played in mine and Kat's series. We LOVED him, which makes sense as to why I love him here too. He played as Roddy in season 1. yay.

James Rhine (12:08:22 AM): now we have to work together
James Rhine (12:08:22 AM): lmao
James Rhine (12:08:22 AM): no choice
James Rhine (12:08:22 AM): you opened pandoras box
James Rhine (12:08:22 AM): you dont have a choice
James Rhine (12:08:26 AM): congratulations
James Rhine (12:08:35 AM): youre stuck with me
James Rhine (12:08:46 AM): idc all your plans until this point
James Rhine (12:08:46 AM): throw it out the window
James Rhine (12:08:47 AM): you and i
James Rhine (12:08:47 AM): ride or dieee
James Rhine (12:09:05 AM): ride or dieeeeeeee
James Rhine (12:09:05 AM): OR DIEEEEEEEEEEEE
James Rhine (12:09:20 AM): bye dom
James Rhine (12:09:20 AM): bye pumkin
James Rhine (12:09:20 AM): BYE DOMINIQUE

I only have the one-sided conversation because I was on my phone and I don't feel like print screening it and posting it here tbh. This will have to do. James is my ideal F2 partner because he is someone I was aligned with since early in the game and one of the people I truly feel I can beat at the end.

Then I have my other endgame deals.

If Elissa goes up, I promised Rachel that I'd vote her out and even mentioned it to Andrew. The smart thing to do would be to vote Jun out with Dom, James and Elissa's extra vote, if she can still use it.
But an even better thing would be if JACK decides he wants to keep her and then the votes are simply not there to evict her
I sometimes open my big mouth before thinking. I told Andrew that Elissa messaged me saying that James wants a F4 with him, Dom, Elissa and me. That would be a perfect F4 because I actually have a shot at winning against these people. But then again, do I go against 2 of my other F2 partners, one of which is a competition beast? Is that smart?
BUT THEN AGAIN, what's the point of playing for second place? I can risk it maybe? I don't know. I really need to think things through because I'm still not sure if Andrew was lying or not about his DPOV ending this week. And if he is lying and I vote Jun out over Elissa, even with an HOH win, it could turn irrelevant. I need to think everything through this week, that's for sure.

[Jessie Kowalski]

Rachel just showed me what she was saying in the re-nom speech and I swear I feel like it could apply to me. She hasn't posted it yet and in the speech, she didn't show me the person she was nominating, but I wouldn't be surprised if she somehow blindsides me with it. I would lol and probably not be upset.

[Jessie Kowalski]

Rachel (10:04:56 PM): the speech says it all
Rachel (10:05:03 PM): Words cannot express how much I didn't want to do this. Ever. When I told you I wanted to work with you long term I meant it. I really did. I have tried to work with you this entire game, but week after week I've sat back and observed as you've plotted against not only me but other players you call allies. You are playing everyone in this house, and I know if I don't do this I not only jeopardize my own safety, but the safety of others around me. Aside from that, I'd bet pretty good money you are the dark horse to win this game right now, and that's not a dark horse I want to deal with. I'm sorry, but this is what needs to be done this week. Oh and James since you're sick of me nominating your allies, congrats you helped land another one on the block this week. How's that for fake and phony? :-) Good luck ladies.

^this is the speech rachel was supposed to give. taking away the "dark horse to win this game," i swear it's like she wrote this for me. It was so nervewracking thinking they had me figured out. I have deals everywhere. I'm playing a very messy game and it's about to catch up to me. I still don't know what I'm going to do.

[Jessie Kowalski]

Fuck it. I think I'm going to do it! I'm going to evict Jun as long as Dominic and James are 100% on board. This is so risky, but you need to make some moves in these games. This is going to anger both Rachel and Andrew like there is no tomorrow. I am actually terrified of the backlash, but fuck it. IDRC. I think it's ridiculous to just hand Rachel the game, as much as I love her and appreciate that she's kept me safe. Elissa has been an ally of mine and I don't why I should evict her. This is so scary tbh, but it needs to be done. The thing is, I told them about the "alliance" of 4. I wish I hadn't. So fucking stupid tbh. IDRC. I'm going to talk to Elissa about it tomorrow maybe. We'll see. I hope I have the balls to do this tomorrow just as I do right now.

[Jessie Kowalski]

^rambling lol