Queen Jessie's words of wisdom

[Jessie Kowalski]

Seems like Ian is gonna nominate Dom and either Jack, Jun or myself. I call bs. Ian is for sureee nominating me. He's gonna kill two birds with one stone. Try and get rid of me and then put to rest that I'm aligned with them.
I hope Andrew uses his DPOV this week on me!!

[Jessie Kowalski]

Not sure who to trust. Some people seem genuine and others don't. Andrew says there is no way I'm leaving. Either he uses the DPOV on me or I get off the block by winning veto myself. Both Rachel and Shane have expressed that they'd use it on me too, but I honestly don't know for sure if they would. Rachel also told me that she thinks there is a sketchy backdoor plan in motion. I'm also super weirded out by the fact that the target shifted from Shane to Adria last round and that apparently Ian isn't nominating Shane this week. It's weird to me. I'm not sure what to make of it. Wouldn't it make sense to nominate the person you've ALREADY nominated 2 weeks prior? Sounds to me like a deal was made and I so fear it screwing things up for me. I guess I'll just go with my gut and trust that Shane is with me, but I'm not betting my life on it lol.
Maybe Ian is just planning on backdooring him, who knows?!
Meh.
Gonna put all my trust in Andrew and Rachel this week. Let's see how far that will get me!

[Jessie Kowalski]

Every time I sign on and see that Ian has not posted his nominations yet, a wave of anger takes over and I curse. I can't handle it. He is obviously trying to milk this for everything it's worth! Just nominate two people so that we can move on already. Knowing I'm going up has made things easier on me, but it still drives me crazy that he hasn't posted anything since it's obvious he knew what he was going to do since late last night. People like him/her drive me madddd!

Rachel told me last night that Ian was 100% asking people for names in order to use it against them. He is the most transparent player I've ever had the displeasure of playing with. I just don't like people like him. I feel like he's the type of player that has extreme anger issues and although it's funny coming from me right now when I'm having a bit of an anti-Ian rant, I just know the type of person he is. Let's not forget his crazy nomination ceremony from week 2 please.


I asked Shane if he made a deal with Ian.

I tried to make it clear that I wasn't accusing him of anything, but just random scenarios that have played out through my mind while thinking about how things are going down this week. I could have just told him that I started wondering about it when Rachel kind of steered me in that direction, but I don't see any good coming out of anyone knowing how close Rachel and I actually are. Normally, I'd feel bad about this, but considering how many non-alias and pre-games are going on, I don't see why I should feel guilty. And besides, it's not like I'm ditching my closest ally for her. I'm just somewhat relying on her for some information, guidance and safety.
Ok back to Shane. He said that Ian told him he'd like them to work together. I believe that since Ian is definitely the type to say things like that. It made me wonder though, and I voiced my concern to Shane about it; does Ian have a backdoor plan? He's SO the vengeful type and considering how Ian went out his season, I can imagine this happening to Shane.

Good thing is that we've got Andrew. Our saviour! Ideally, the nominations end up being Dominic and Jack post veto. This way, Andrew can keep his power and buy us all an extra week. But if not, David can go and I can feel good about myself.

Ian's been telling people that Jun's been spreading my name. The main thing here is that I'm not running my mouth about it. I don't want to A. Spread the rumour and B. I want to remain a mystery as it relates to Ian. He cannot know who I'm close to, who I talk to and who I trust. When I keep my mouth shut, nothing can be used against me. My only regret is kind of answering his "I want names" PM. Through AIM, he asked what I would have considered if I were HOH. I joked that I'd consider everyone and then just said I'd take everything into account and seize the opportunity to see what people have to say. I then said I haven't SPOKEN to Dom, Jun, Jack and David very much lately. I made sure to distinguish between that and possible nominees. I also said things change when you hold the power and people come to you. I told Jun about this already. I'm not too worried about David knowing since I'm sure I'm already a contender for him and Jack is a weasel. IDRC what he thinks of me. It's Dom I'm worried about. He's someone I wanted to align myself with. I need to get to him before Ian does, but if Dom's a nominee, I can hopefully diffuse it before Ian tries making it out to be more than it is. I regret saying Dom's name though. It was such poor judgment on my part, but it was because I knew that Ian was 99% leaning towards nominating him anyway, so I just went with that I knew for a fact. I hope Dom can understand that.

[Jessie Kowalski]

Finally!!! Nominations are done. I was gonna go crazy until i saw them, seriously! Anyways, my basic strategy right now is to appear like I'm fine and not upset. Maybe even a little ~down. I will not message anyone and wait for them to message me. If they see me with one foot out the door already, they'll just ignore me. However, if they make the effort to talk to me, then I'll feel like I'm still somewhat relevant in their plans. I'm surprised Dominic isn't nominated, but that could also just be part of the backdoor plan that Rachel hinted at. Idk. Right now, I'm not liking the vibes at all. And the worst part is? David is the only one to have messaged me, lol. What's what about?!

[Jessie Kowalski]

Either I'm just plain ~amazing, or there's a plan I'm unaware of. Shane, Rachel and Elissa have all said they'd use the POV on me. WHAT??? I know I've got relationships with them all, but this is weird! On top of that, Andrew said he will not leave me on the block as a final nominee so fingers crossed!

Anyhoo... I think there's a bd plan and everyone is in on it tbh, lol.

[Jessie Kowalski]

i'm so sick of people in this game honestly. Rachel told me that Andrew showed Porsche a snippet of our conversation where I alluded to her being a threat. This is ridiculous. I can't stand the fact that they're all aligned in some way. Soon I'm going to find out that Shane is against me too. This is great. Rachel shares some info with me every once in a while and it's basically up to me to combine the dots. How is it possible that I don't know what the hell is going on? I literally have NOOOOO clue what's happening, lol. I'm not used to this.

[Jessie Kowalski]

Had a talk with Shane and I just told him that Rachel told me what Andrew did. IDRC. I can't play like this. It's impossible. How am I supposed to figure anything out?!
I trust a ton of people to not come after me, but I also don't trust enough people to believe they're actually playing their own game. I needed for Shane to know that Andrew is NOT 100% trustworthy. We've agreed to play it cool and let shit go down. Hopefully David goes this week and then we can focus on Porsche and her army. It's absolutely INSANE that she has so many allies and people are just sitting back. I'm also sick of being so bad at competitions!!!!! Where is my shadow?! I need a comp-whore ally. Pleaseeeee!

[Jessie Kowalski]

should i be totally careless and post in the "alliance" board?


omg love u guys <33333333333333333333333333333


*play it cool*

[Jessie Kowalski]

tomorrow, long confessional. promise. sorry about that!

[Jessie Kowalski]

<3

What a week! Seeing Ian win that HOH was the most depressing thing I could have ever imagined. For one, I was really hoping to not only win this HOH, but be the reason that one of him or David went home. In the end, everything turned out much better than expected [not counting the fact that David cheated/quit of course]. After getting nominated and feeling like complete ass, I went into the DR and had a bit of a rant.

I basically started crying over how Porsche is the queen of the game and everyone's playing it for her. Gah, such a baby! However, this is only the beginning of a crazy roller coaster of a week. But first, let me backtrack a little bit here. Ian decided to send a mass PM where he REQUESTED that everyone give him names for nominations. He obviously wanted to get information to use against us when he is no longer in power. It's dirty, it's disgusting and I ain't buying it!

So I decided to sort of work it into our conversation. I told him the people I hadn't spoken to much in the days leading up to his win and I only told him the truth. Those people were Jack, Jun, Dominic and David. I didn't hold back about it because I did not suggest any of them as nominations. Had he started telling people that though, I'd have set the record straight. Anyway, that conversation happened on Thursday around noon. After that, we didn't talk at all. Throughout all of this, I had conversations with the other houseguests and I was constantly reassured that I was safe. Rachel, Elissa, Porsche, Shane AND Andrew all told me they'd use POV on me if I were to be nominated and if they play/won POV. Andrew even told me he'd use his DPOV on me, which obviously made me feel good. Even with all of this going on, I still felt weirded out because it just felt off to me that Ian promised Shane safety.
Then nominations happened and not only was I nominated, but Dominic wasn't. I was SO sure he'd be sitting next to me and when he wasn't, I started getting a little paranoid. Rachel mentioned the idea of Shane, Dominic, Ian and David working together and of course that started driving me crazy, especially since Dom wasn't a nominee! On top of that, Rachel told me that Andrew showed Porsche a part of our conversation where I alluded to her being a threat. This basically threw me over the edge and where I started my little anti-Porsche rampage in my DR.

The next couple of days were better though. I was approached by almost everyone about me being nominated and how upset they were about it. Obviously I'm not dumb enough to think people cared THAT much, but I went with it. POV was finally revealed and so was all the cheating drama.

If you ask me, I think Ian is the one who gave David the answers, but that's neither here nor there. Porsche immediately sent me a PM reminding me of her promise to use it on me and that she wanted to talk to me. I signed on to AIM while on break at work and was able to secure it. Everyone seemed to be on board for David to go and I guess since Ian knew it was coming anyway, he later nominated him.
Ian sent both Jack and I a PM about why he nominated us. He told us his intentions were for neither of us to go, but that he's been planning on getting rid of David the entire time.

We're not idiots Ian. He's so transparent, it's unbelievable. I responded by thanking him for clearing things up and that we'd talk on AIM. He still has not bothered to message me and I don't think he plans on it. He doesn't care and I'm willing to bet he doesn't consider me much of a threat.

POV was used on me <3 Porsche just gained another fan. This doesn't mean I'm not onto her though. I see right through it and although I appreciate the gesture like crazy, it doesn't mean I'll be rushing to take her to the end with me. For right now, we basically "called" a truce.

Then Tuesday night happens. Elissa approached both Andrew and myself for an alliance. I'm a little weary to accept because I know that Andrew told Porsche about what I had said and so I'm reluctant to accept. I do voice a tiny bit of concern over the idea of alliances in this specific game because of what's happened so far, but we agree that it's a good idea. Meanwhile, Shane and I have been discussing an alliance of Elissa, Andrew, him, Porsche and myself. A 5-some. The reason we wanted this was because we have a strong competitor in Porsche and since she's associated with Elissa, she'd have to be part of it as well. I then told Shane about the alliance Elissa started, but obviously told him not to say anything. We discussed the fact that we'd have to somehow form this bigger alliance so that both he and I can be in it, but also not be too closely associated to each other. He started working on Porsche and I "warned" Elissa about what was about to go down. Porsche then approached me about this alliance that I knew everything about already, but it also included RACHEL. This made me SO happy because I did not want to lie to her, nor did I really want to tell her about it either. I was super worried about this whole thing because if she were to find out about it from someone else without me ever telling her about it myself, this could screw me over completely.

So, a 6-person alliance was formed with a 3some alliance within it. Elissa, Andrew and myself agreed to keep it between us and you may call me crazy [or a fool], but I actually believe that Andrew is keeping it a secret this time. Meanwhile, I told Shane because he is my true partner in crime and I would never leave him for any other alliance. With all that being said, Andrew basically told me I'm his #1 [which I do still have a hard time believing] and that he'd pick me over Elissa [may or may not be true]. Time will tell.

So the conclusion of this long run-on sentence/story, I am now aligned with Porsche and playing the game for her.

KIDDING!

Obviously, not. I'll work with her because I need her to take out Ian and possibly other people that are stronger than me at competitions, but that's about it. Ideally, she'd be gone in the earlier stages of the jury. Since I'm more of a "middle of the road" competitor, I'd rather not compete against people like her.

[Jessie Kowalski]

I'm so unsure if I should celebrate or not. Obviously James coming back is better than Adria or McCrae coming back, but it still throws a monkey wrench into my plans. The thing is, Shane and I have clawed our way into the hearts and souls of some of the strongest people in this game and with James back, this could make certain people a little weary about us. I love James though and so, Shane and I will likely still work with him. He is our connection to Dominic too, so that's good.
Shane and I have decided to play the middle. We spoke last night about what we should do and decided that telling James is better for us because if someone else does, it would screw us completely. Also, this 6 person alliance was formed to ensure our safety as opposed to actually wanting to go to the end with them. With James by our side completely, he can help us get rid of them! So we told him about the alliance. I'm not going to lie, I didn't want to. I still have a bit of regret over it. So many things can go wrong and it's a bit of a dirty move. I hope we don't get figured out though!!!

[Jessie Kowalski]

Gotta keep James off the block. If she nominates Jack and Jun, this won't give James a reason to expose us... and then we can all compete next week shake the house!

[Jessie Kowalski]

rachel had a splash balloon thingy that is gone and now shane has one. dun dun dun.
DISCRIMINATION!!!!!

[Jessie Kowalski]

There hasn't been much to report. I didn't have a great chance to speak to people this week because I've been way busier than usual. I have a lot of things going on IRL, including one of my best friends getting married in less than a week. I'm one of the bridesmaids, so I'm there whenever she needs me. Sorry about holding up the POV and not even doing well at it o.O

Jack won POV and this SHOULD mean that Ian will be nominated and then voted out, but obviously I'm paranoid since that's just how I am. Shane and I trusted James with news of our alliance and I feel like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's so scary!

Meanwhile, I have 2 'legit' F2s with Elissa and Shane and apparently one with Andrew. I don't really believe the Andrew one because I know he is super social with 98% of the house and I still feel like he holds back a bit with me. Plus, I'm very unsure about him in general. If I had to choose right here and now who to take to F2, it would be Shane. That's who I plan on going to the end with! But I trust Elissa a ton too.

I hope this week goes according to plan and Ian gets nominated and evicted.

[Jessie Kowalski]

Stupid week. I'm so annoyed with Rachel and everyone.
So pissed off tbh.